try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
