I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I have fence marks all over my body
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
