There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
