Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
