I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
