sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
