Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
