i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
