all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
