Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize