I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just puked most of my soul out..
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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