Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
