I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
