I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize