I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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