We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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