i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
