you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
