Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
