I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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