My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
