Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
