No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize