Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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