3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
