i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Four minutes until I can fart!
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
