Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
