i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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