I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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