Can i not drive my cunt home
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
