I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
