Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
