i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
