Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
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