the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
