I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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