Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
