no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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