So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
