so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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