I'm going to rape someone's good day.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
