Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize