Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
