did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
