Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Randomize