My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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