I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
