i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
this hospital has no fireball
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
