yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
