The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize