And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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