State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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