it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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