please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
