HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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