today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
