My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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